The Confusion Of Purpose

it’s not my intent to have a certain level of fame, I’ll just be happy if someone knows my name

I ask and pray for money, I’m upfront about it, so when I get it, you won’t look at me funny

I’ve been told I’m righteous and gifted, however, I’m also SKULLDUGGEROUS and wounded.

God has blessed me to drip bitter and sweet out the same faucet, my soul at times has reached the Pinnacle and right after that, lost it

At times I deal with unbearable pain, I ask the most high why the punishment, he smirks and replies are you insane?

I don’t punish you; I train your spirit, this is what you asked for, what your people feel, you have to feel it

Didn’t you tell me you wanted to help folks, well I’m preparing you for what you asked for

I tell the most high, how can I help my people when I have trouble helping myself, he tells me it’s my mistakes that will be the most help

Today my was heart broke, I see everything I want right over this glass ceiling, I failed to accomplish a goal, and the failure was the true definition of a stinging

I quit because I couldn’t see a way, but before today, an angel told me I must get out of my own way

It’s the hardest thing a person can do, getting out of there way so blessings can flow through

Especially when you been at the bottom so long, your now weak but started strong

You feel guilty that your progress hasn’t moved along, and you repeat the same mistakes as tired old songs

I say I now deserve my blessings; he says at the appointed time, I say I’m in need now, again, he says at the appointed time

I’m impatient, I say I’ve suffered enough, the most high is silent, I’m frustrated, maybe his silence means I need to toughen up

I’m tired and exhausted, I’m 49, I’m this I’m that, but I’m blessed beyond belief and that’s a real fact

I got two babies, 4 and 12, the oldest my savior, the youngest my true self

My savior is everything I want to be, love compassion, positive influence, my youngest is different, he’s gonna be the truest.

So how can I fuse those combinations of me that I see outside of me to improve the present me? 

feel there unconditional love for me when those times come that I feel weak. 

I’m blessed to know that I have a savior and reincarnation of me without seeing death, so I must push through this season of difficulties for you all, because you are why I have breath,

I’m giving all of y’all my life and strength, these words are spirit so none of you quit

I’m here to make your paths easier to navigate, see my flaws and learn from my mistakes,

Just like my kids, I want you all better than me, So suffering is nothing to me if I see what you’ve learned from me, makes you free. 

So a purpose ain’t always the sweet smell of roses, there’s twist and turns, ups and downs, and it’s my job you know this.

But still, that purpose, find it, it will make you better, just be prepared for the road ahead and ready for whatever

We forget who we are

It gets piled on you from the beginning of your life. Thoughts, fears, and limitations of others.

Most of our lives we spend it mimicking the styles, personalities, and habits of those closest to us.

Then we reach our 30’s and 40’s and are completely stumped on who we are and what we want.

We find that we’re prisoners of our own lives. We want to do something about it and so overwhelmed with life as we know it, we get discouraged and give in.

When this is happening or you may know someone that this is happening to, sometimes you have to sit down with yourself or sit the individual down who’s suffering, look them in the eyes, remind them of all that they have accomplished in there lives to truly be grateful for and most importantly WHO THE FUCK THEY ARE!!!

A shark who roams the ocean who has forgotten his killer instinct is….Food.

In the midst of going through life masquerading in the limitations of others, you had clear flashes of who you are.

And guess what, the ones you would never expect, also saw those flashes. They’ve gained respect and love and admiration for you secretly that you didn’t have a clue about.

Then one day the situation arises when that power that sent you here finally affirms to you what you’ve known along but never had the courage to embrace. That you are someone with a purpose, identity, gifts, and a lane that no one can fill but YOU.

Me as a baby shark

Today I’m telling you to get in that mirror and you stay there until you find and remember WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE.

The choice is simple. Be the shark or be the food.

What I Would Do With My Million Dollar Opportunity Part 5.

People do million dollar business every day, all over the world.
I’d like to experience something like that if it were just once.
I wish I could be clear on how a person or group of people could get a return on there investment with me.
All I have seen is that Author’s or other creators receive a certain amount of exposure.
Whether they have figured a way to build a fan base organically, or were discovered and introduced to the masses by a more established individual or group. Then they make there product available to be sold.
At one point a plan was made that placed a certain amount for value on what an individual created.
My book for instance is $10. If the goal is to sell one million books at $10 a piece, that total profit I anticipate is $10,000,000.
I have a road with a destination. It’s the middle part that’s sketchy.
Things like exposure, which is a part of marketing is definitely important. Targeting a demographic which I’ve done. Although I’d love for everyone to read my book, it’s mainly for men between 35-50 who are possibly experiencing what used to be called “a midlife crisis”.
Right now, because of limited resources, my plan is to market and target my audience on social media, word of mouth, and I’m in the beginning process of organizing a book tour in my local area where I will attempt to meet people in community centers and apartment complexes. Ive already began to make phone calls for that.
These are the things I’ve come up with but I’m open and willing to learn of new ideas as well.
I’ve sold somewhere between 15-25 books with no help in a two month period. Just word of mouth and social media posts.
To have a team with me with real resources can multiply these numbers dramatically.
The book is only 117 pages. For the average reader it’s a pretty quick read that’s entertaining, thought provoking and has some solutions for some problems.
I believe investor’s will have returns on their investment in 3 years or less.
I’m completely dedicated to making that happen. I figure 75-25 split my way until the profits of the book are satisfied for the investor’s.
If I earn money from speaking engagements and or YouTube and Patreon subscribers that could be worked out as well to help pay back the investment.
If their are 7.5 billion people on earth the likelihood of selling 1,000,000 117 page books at $10 a piece that’s promoting mental health awareness is extremely likely within a 3 year period.
Lastly, the money invested will also create time for me to be mentored by the investor. I want to learn. I want to learn how the potential investor got where he or she is financially so I will never be where I’m currently at in life again.
I believe in each one teach one, so whatever I learn, I will teach one or more coming behind me. I’ve written out a structured plan where me and the potential investor will know where every penny of the $1,000,000 will go. If things need to be tweaked, like I said, I’m willing to learn.
I have them written out in my notebook and by the end of the day, I’ll have them either in my phone or on my computer so they could be sent and reviewed.
I’m already a professional author, music producer, and content creator. I just haven’t been all that financially successful and that doesn’t mean I don’t have the gifts or talents to be such. It just means I haven’t learned to get what I’ve created in my life to the next level and that’s not bad. It just is what it is.
I would like to have a serious investor who’s ready to get to work in ONE WEEK. July 11, 2021. 7 days.
Like I’ve said, their are million dollar deals happening every day. Why can’t it happen for me. I’ve put in the time to create a product that can provide a service that can create an income. I believe completely in myself that’s why I’m on this platform sharing as I am.
I truly appreciate your time. If your someone that can help or know of someone, email me at
Also, please purchase my book from either Amazon
Or me directly by sending your name and address to the above email, go to cash app to pay $10 for a signed copy and I’ll have it out to you shortly.
Thank you so much for your time.

What I Would Do With My Million Dollar Opportunity Part 4

Hey my shiny ones came in!!

My books are real. My Purpose is true and my goal is simple. Get this book in the hands of as many people as possible.

Looking for those who can join my journey with me. Ultimately, I want to stand on stages sharing my story of how I’ve overcome dark moments.

Life is hard at times but I keep pushing because ultimately my time will come when everything I see in my imagination and mind will be in my reality.

Within 3-5 years I want to open a youth center that focuses on the elements of Hip-hop for the mind and soul, boxing for the fitness and discipline, and classes for studying Think and Grow Rich By Napoleon Hill.

I want to help the kids so they don’t go through I went through. That’s the future.

My book is for folks my age. 30s, 40s and 50s, that went about life with no real blue print and found themselves in trying times.

I figure, Help the folks my age so we can heal and guide the young folks so they won’t have to read books like mine for encouragement.

Hip-hop will have there spirits right, boxing will have them physically fit, and think and grow rich will give the direction of how to create there own wealth.

I’m definitely not looking for a hand out. I’d like to find an individual or a team of individuals who want to stand behind a great idea that will benefit many. ✌🏿&🖤 Folks.

For a signed copy of My Road to Damascus:

Send an email with you name and address to Search $YerrotMG on Cash app, provide a payment of $10, and allow 3-4 weeks for delivery.

Life After 30

In a span of 5 years I left organized religion, separated from my wife, fell into a deep depression and a horrible mental state.

I got evicted from a house I loved and had to sleep on my wife’s couch for 9 months. This was after our separation. I clawed and scratched to get myself back together and now here I am.

I guess its ground zero for me. Anyone else out there going through challenging circumstances where everything fell apart and now its just you and this fragile existence your living?

If I can say there is a blessing in all this, it’s the fact that starting over, no matter how uncomfortable it may be, may just be the best thing that ever happened to you.

The key is your state of mind and using it to tap in to this resource you have that’s always been available to you. However, with things like jobs, careers, relationships, and children, you’ve put it on the back burner.

You’ve actually always been using this resource but never intentionally. Because it was free and always on a default setting you have never valued it and what it could actually do for you to make your life so much easier.

In fact, its so easy to use that one of the main reasons its unused is because many think that using this resource to there advantage is too good to be true.

When you were a kid, you constantly tapped in to this resource. Especially if you were an only child. Quite possibly while your mom was in the kitchen, and your dad was at work, you either played in your room or outside by yourself. Do you remember how entertained you were able to make yourself?

I was a huge wrestling fan. My mom would by me wrestling action figures for Christmas and Birthdays. I would actually reenact wrestling programs I saw on TV.

Sometimes I would take this big teddy bear I had. Ernie. I would have wrestling matches with him for hours. Pretty soon he would get holes that I would beg my mom to stitch up so we could keep on wrestling. We had fans to entertain.

I won’t go into who won those wrestling matches for the sake of protecting myself from the onslaught of judgement. However, looking back I’m amazed at the creativity I had to make something out of nothing.

I had no brothers and sisters and went through stretches of times when TV got boring. It was before the wave of video games. It came down to just me, my love for the squared circle, and my most lethal resource. My imagination.

It was free. I took advantage of it. I suppose if technology as we have it now, was back then, my mom would have probably recorded some of those classic matches I had with Ernie, shared them to her social media, and quite possibly would have gone viral.

Albert Einstein once said, “Imagination is the preview of life’s coming attractions”.

Answer this. How did you get the information from your brain to paper that created that love letter you sent to that childhood crush?

You were probably shy and inexperienced and too scared to just go up to this person to ask to go steady.

So in your mind you created scenarios that were attached to your feelings and that combination poured from your mind that directed the pen in your hand to write all this gushy, mushy, love stuff.

If you wrote this letter the night before school, you probably were so confident that you would have this happily ever after scenario in your mind, that the possibilities of them not liking you never arose.

As you get to school the next day, still brimming with confidence and having a plan that you’d simply walk up to this person, give them your letter, and be joined with bliss, the moment you saw the target of your affection, you immediately came down with the feelings of nervousness that some would call butterflies.

Then a cold reality could possibly set in. What if I give he or she this letter, and they say no? What if they don’t even like me? What if they share this sacred letter with classmates and they make fun of me?

Fear and anxiety sets in. You either push through that and muster up enough courage to give the person the letter, or you tear it up and throw it in the trash.

The only person who knows all of this is you. Well, unless you gave the letter to that person and they kept it to themselves.

If all they did was simply read the letter and kept it to themselves, it would be a big chance they probably said no to your invitation of steadiness.

But if they read the letter, came back to you, and said yes, in most cases, the two of you and a select group of your close friends would know. Or you’d just simply tell everybody in your state of euphoric happiness.

The point of all this, is to give an example of the most important resource we have as human beings. Our imagination. It could be used to great benefits or great disasters.

It could be used to write that book that could change our lives for the better, or it could be used to devise a scheme to rob a bank that sooner or later, we’d be apprehended for. That has a much more negative change in our life. The loss of freedom.  

Recipes for delicious dishes, techniques to fix cars, combinations of colors that create different visions when used in paintings all came from the imagination.

The way a man proposed to his wife started in his mind. Careers and opportunities used to create incomes started in the imagination.

On the negative end of the spectrum, if a person has challenges in there relationships, they replay bad encounters over and over in there minds.

They think of ways they should have responded during arguments that they didn’t say while in front of the person they had the problem with.

They can create feelings of unworthiness which inflames a low self-esteem.

A person could want a job or position in a company they seek to work for and talk themselves out of simply filling out that application or creating a resume. These too are creations of their imaginations.

Because freewill is involved in our lives, we have the freedom to do what we want and how we do it. But the what and the how is fueled by the thoughts we produce which are creations of our imagination.

It could be our most blessed gift or our most treacherous curse.

As I’m sharing this information with you, I’m a witness to the blessing of that gift as well as the treachery of that curse.

During the past months, time has went by that the majority of it I’ve spent alone. During this time alone, I’ve taken advantage of reflecting on a new direction for my life.

I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I finally got the courage to not be a victim of a wrecked marriage but a liberated soul with a new chapter in my life.

I shook the bitterness and anger in my heart and picked my pen up and started to express myself that ultimately turned into a book.

Then something happened to me. The universe began to show me things about myself to help discover a gift and a purpose.

If you’re a religious person and something similar happened to you, it would be that “come to Jesus moment” people have often described.

It actually happened to me while I was listening to motivational speakers and preachers who were expressing the value of identifying your gifts.

What ever your spiritual or religious beliefs are, one thing that we all have in common are gifts. No, we don’t all have the same gifts but we all have gifts.

There is one thing we can all do at our best with the least amount of effort.

Some are writers. Some are cooks. Some are teachers. Whatever your thing is, what ever THAT thing is that you possess and can put your own unique stamp on, that’s your gift.

I’m a writer. I use my imagination and memory for words and expressions that are designed to do everything from entertain, educate, draw out emotions or simply create humor.

Through life we’ve acquired responsibilities. It started with school. When your young, school is fun but as you progress in grade levels it becomes more work oriented. Test and exams have to be passed. Reports have to be turned in on books we were assigned to read.

We learn parts of history, variations of math and science, and other things that may or may not be useful after we graduate from high school. Then were unleased in to a cold, unpredictable but sometimes beautiful world.

Somewhere along the line two things happened to us. One, we stopped using our imaginations that brought us some much joy and company as children.

Two, because we stopped using our imaginations, we’ve found ourselves further and further separated from our gifts.

Then relationships, children, careers, and 40 plus years have passed and you struggle to figure out what the hell just happened.

Possibly you made a few right decisions and were blessed to learn a few skills that brought you anywhere from decent to great incomes when you were in your late teens and early twenties.

However for most of us, struggling with finances and other areas of our lives because of decisions we’ve previously made, can have adverse effects on your mental health and well-being. Life happens.

The cool part is that its not what happens to you, but what you do about it.

For myself, I created “The Life After 30” program.

I realized that the decisions I’ve made in the past, affected my current present in many ways.

Some good and some bad. I also realized and learned that if I tweak a few things and changed my mind set, my life will have a dramatic change for the better.

Life after 30 doesn’t mean life after the age of 30. It’s taking 30 days to reprogram your mind and shift it from lack to abundance.

Get off the default setting that its currently on and move the needle to positive intentions.

Many of us go through life and accept life as it is. Bad relationships, low finances, horrible job with a boss who isn’t even qualified to be in charge of himself, let alone another human being.

Our popular go to statement that justifies this mediocre life is, “It is what It is. Then we leave it at that.

To change all that, set a goal, focus on what you want, target a destination, and move in that direction. Never, ever stop until you reach that destination.

Take 30 days and remove yourself from social media, negative company, and bad influences. Then replace that with an exercise regimen, a positive change in your diet. Read and listen to personal development materials, affirmations, and intentional positive thinking.

You create your own programs but that’s where it gets tricky.

Depending on your age, you can have a life time full of patterns that don’t serve you. Habits you’ve acquired as a result of stress and life traumas.

These patterns have to be broken and new mental paths have to be created but those new paths can only be created with consistency, persistence and a positive mind set.

After coming across an Earl Nightingale video on YouTube called “The Strangest Secret”, it turned the wheels in my mind and set in motion a chain of events that changed my life.

I set a financial goal, a new career path, and spiritual disciplines that were designed to tie my gift with a purpose that not only would be a benefit to myself, but to all in the universe.

I turned my goals into personal affirmations that I say in the morning when I wake, at night before bed and many times during the course of my day.

I monitor the thoughts in my mind and if negativity arises, I simply redirect those thoughts to something I want instead of something that was, or don’t want.

I focus on the future and what will be, instead of negative experiences that weighed on me and ultimately crushed all possibilities for abundance.

It was hard work, but I knew if I were to get through those 30 days consecutively with new thought patterns, a healthy body, and positive intentions, my life will be forever changed.

Its all on you. You hold the key. You have the resource. You have the most valuable resource in the whole universe. Your mind and using that imagination that you’ve drifted so far from.

Set a goal. Identify your gift and challenge yourself for thirty consecutive days to think about only what you want. Believe its already yours and with consistency it has to be transferred into your physical possession.

Use meditation to quite the thoughts and ease stress. Then think. Don’t try to think, just let it happen. Through repetition and believing in your own power, you can attract all you need.

Your plan doesn’t have to be definite at first but your goal does. Learn the art of patience and flexibility. Understand that your more than worthy of whatever it is you desire.

You probably wont get rich in 30 days but you will definitely begin to think like the 1% of individuals who are. That will attract the ideas for your goals and dreams to come to fruition.

It’s only 30 days. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

As a side note, its best to under take this challenge as a personal one. You don’t have to advertise what your doing and tell everyone about this new found direction your changing your life towards.

The worst thing a person can do is share their big dreams and aspirations to small-minded individuals.

More than likely, all your friends and family are living on that default life setting. This process is for everyone but seems to be hiding in plain view.

Use it for yourself first and when results come all your friends and family will notice anyway. Protect your energy and cultivate your mind to produce the results you want.